symbol of the angel Raphael

On 14-Sep-11, at 1:12 PM, Petra wrote:
I am doing fine. Had another day on the couch but nothing too drastic.
Going to see what I can salvage from the garden as it froze last night and I hadn’t covered my pumpkins and tomatoes. Oh well, silly me.

Fella’s mother buggered off to the city a couple weeks ago and hoped someone else would harvest her garden. The other night he suggested I do it before a freeze, and I told him if I wanted to harvest a garden, I would have planted one, thank you very much. He didn’t think too much of that and to be honest I’m not sure I think too well of myself, but I just figure it’s assuming too much to expect someone else to take that responsibility for you.

His mom has invited me to garden with her before and I’ve said no thanks; I don’t want to deal with someone else’s expectations of what I should be doing in a garden and when; and that hasn’t changed. Every summer she calls and says oh the peas/beans/cukes/tomatoes/potatoes are ready and my back hurts, can you come and pick/dig? Well I don’t fucking want to pick and dig! If you can’t do it yourself, don’t plant the fucking things! But of course I don’t say that; I send my kid over. Next summer he won’t be here. Maybe I just won’t answer the phone. Why is it so hard to say no when someone is asking for help? I guess that’s when we think we have to say yes or we’re bad people. (Although I just told Sis1 I won’t take a puppy with me to deliver when I cross two provinces to visit Sis2, because I don’t want my friends to have to put up with puppy piss/shit/chewing when I stay with them on the way; so it’s not like I CAN’T say no. But I feel badly when I do.)

I’m terribly self-righteous eh? Hmph. I know I look and sound like such a cow, and Fella thinks I’m awful. “Don’t you want tomatoes?” he says to me. Actually no; I have bags upon bags in the deep freeze, chopped and measured, from last year so he won’t have to do without my precious homemade salsa on everything. I’m happy with a fresh feed of anything if it’s offered or if I see it at the farmer’s market I’m more than happy to pay for it, but I’m not freezing my ass off in anyone’s garden to get it. Apparently I have a terrible attitude and for sure I’m not a “good” farm woman.

Sorry to hear you’ve had produce losses, if you have. It must be disappointing after all the work one puts into gardening over the summer. A lot of my flowers are done for, of course, after last night.

Pet: How was supper with Sadie?

Oh, fine. Short and sweet. We met at 6 and she had to go play poker at 7, so she ate and ran. Today she is on her way to southern Alberta to hook up with some trucker she “met” online who invited her to his daughter’s wedding in the States. She’s driving down there with him after talking on the phone a few times. I hope she likes him and vice versa, or it will be a shitty situation to be stuck in. He sounds nice, looks good in his photo, so … fingers crossed. But she’s not looking for a relationship, oh no! Just friends. Uh huh.

I told her to make sure she has her own room, no matter what; then at least she can have a shit in privacy and get away from him for a while and he might realize he better treat her like a lady, even if they’re excited about each other. I tried to talk her out of going at all, since last week she spent two days in the hospital, dehydrated, and they don’t know why for sure. Wouldn’t be good to have something happen when you’re far from home and dependent on a stranger. But … she is determined to go, so … here’s hoping it all turns out well. I just talked to her, she’s in Taber, stopped at a Tim Hortons to use the facilities and should be meeting up with this guy any minute.

Her birthday was actually Sept 3 and she sat home alone and all her friends who would’ve come to her place to eat her food (remember she was planning to throw herself a party) didn’t even call her, so fuck them all! she said. She’s got quite a chip on her shoulder, I’m afraid; I hope she can put it down someday.

I’m just back from my walk; wearing the long underwear you gave me last year. Had to go to town for a tire repair before that, and now am going to stick a roast in the oven so Fella will be happy when he gets home, and then I’ve got to get to work!

And how are your days going?

Ms Kitty