Now that I’m permitting myself to have the entire morning “off,” does it mean I’ll really get anything more accomplished in a day? I think not, by the look of things. But I did come across this excerpt from one of May Sarton’s journals today as I caught up on some list reading, and although personally I find it important to complete one task each day, even if it’s something as small as getting the dishes done, I think Ms Sarton has got the right idea:
I always forget how important the empty days are, how important it may be sometimes not to expect to produce anything, even a few lines in a journal. A day when one has not pushed oneself to the limit seems a damaged damaging day, a sinful day. Not so! The most valuable thing one can do for the psyche, occasionally, is to let it rest, wander, live in the changing light of a room.
Petra, you may not have heard yet but our friend Sadie’s mom died yesterday morning. It’s almost as if her death was scripted — just Tuesday Sadie had packed up her mom’s belongings and moved her into a new nursing home where she felt confident her mom would be safer and better treated. Her mom was happy and excited about it all. Then during her mother’s first night there, Sadie was awakened by a phone call in the wee hours. She arrived at her mom’s room 15 minutes after she passed away. When she called yesterday to tell me, I offered to go stay with her for a few days, but she expects to be at her daughter’s for the next while. She sounded exhausted. As sad as it is — don’t I know how painful it is to lose your mother! — this will also lighten Sadie’s load by several tons, as she was her mom’s main support outside the nursing home. She did a lot of running to the city on her mom’s behalf, and plenty of worrying, and it was tiring her out. So while I feel for her loss, in a way I’m also glad she will be free of the burden of care now, as it was a losing battle.